The Best Medicine

 

When I am asked what I do for a living, I often see people’s eyes glaze over when I answer with “digital marketing”. “Oh, you’re a computer guy”, I’ll hear right before they quickly try to change the subject but, as someone who doesn’t enjoy talking about myself, I am usually all too happy to move on to another topic.

Aside from the obvious boring aspects of our industry, the confusion, frustration, and fear exhibited by some clients (usually from generations that had little to no exposure to computers in their youth) sometimes just makes the whole experience unenjoyable, I imagine that dentists, accountants, and proctologists see similar responses to their professions.

Since this company’s inception, we have had over 16,000 clients so you can only imagine the variety of conversations our employees have had with clients and prospects alike. Here are some of our favorite funny stories(that we can share) from the past 14 years:

While cold calling years ago, I contacted a woman with a deep, raspy voice, who didn’t hear me identify the company I was calling from so she asked me again, “What’s the name of your company”? I replied, “Ideal Positions”. There was a silent pause for a few seconds to which she followed up with “Oooooooo, I’ll take TWO of those”.

The name of our company was intended to be provocative and continues to elicit a variety of responses.

Then, there’s the client who called me while sitting on the toilet and another time while he was in the shower, both times he felt the need to tell me exactly what he was doing.

Another time I called a client in Arizona to discuss her account and when I asked her how she was, she said (paraphrasing) “I’m good, just been running around my house in my underwear, high on Vicodin for the last 3 days”.

We once had the wife of client call us after seeing a $1000 charge on her husband’s credit card statement from “Ideal Positions”. Apparently, she thought we were an escort service but was relieved to learn that we are a marketing company. One gets the impression that hubby dearest may have previously been caught in a less than ideal position with a consultant that “handled” more than his marketing and a company that drove traffic to his hotel room instead of his website.

And finally, a funny internal story about our own Ian “Baby Girl” Davis:

The Ideal Positions office is lucky enough to be surrounded by fields, filled with grass, wild strawberries, and beautiful wildlife so, it’s no wonder that a lot of employees like to talk a walk outside during the day.

One day, while walking through one of the fields that surround the office, our Operations and Innovation Director Mara Grow found a small brown paper bag in the tall grass. Her curiosity piqued, she opened the bag to see what was inside, to her amazement she found a sandwich, a bottle of apple juice, a small bag of chips, and a napkin.  Obviously, someone had lost their lunch. About a block away from the office is a school bus stop, so it was safe to guess that a child had lost their lunch bag while walking to the bus stop.  Further confirming this was a handwritten note on the napkin, which read, “I love you baby girl!”

Mara returned to the office with the note, and showed it to several staff members – we all hoped that the intended recipient of the lunch was OK.  This prompted Mara to play a joke on Ian so, she left the apple juice and note on his desk.  Ian was puzzled about who had left him the note, but was (too) excited about getting the apple juice, and proceeded to drink it.  He then put the note in a prominent place on the shelves behind his desk, to remind him to find out who had left the items on his desk.

Other staff members saw the note and decided that “baby girl” would be a great nickname for him.  Ian, having the great sense of humor that he does, took the title and ran with it.  He is now affectionately known as Ian “Baby Girl” Davis around the office.

More shenanigans, tomfoolery, high jinks and monkey business to come.

 

Cheesy marketing joke of the week:

What’s the personality of a bad digital marketer?

Answer: Anti-social

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