15 Minutes

 

 There are many things one can do in 15 minutes like, make a grilled cheese sandwich, change a tire, brew a pot of coffee, troll your least favorite celebrity on social media or, dissolve a dead human body in a large, schedule 2 plastic tub full of hydrochloric acid. Personally, I prefer a shallow grave and a bag of Lye but, I digress.

For business owners, 15 minutes of free time can be hard to find but, by taking a few minutes each day, you can help improve your company’s online presence and, without spending a dime.

 Your Website: Updating specials, sales, events, products, employees, services, charitable endeavors, changes in contact info and/or any other relevant information doesn’t take long and can be very helpful to visitors on your site. If you do not have the ability to make changes to your site, I recommend getting a CMS(Content Management System) like WordPress that allows you to make edits without the need for a web developer. If you are in the market for a new site, give us a call, we build in WordPress.

Facebook: With over 2 Billion users, Facebook has become a valuable platform for businesses and whether or not you spend money on FB ads, updating your company’s page regularly is a great way generate awareness, interest, and revenue. Just like with your website, updating specials, sales, events, products, employees, services, charitable endeavors, changes in contact info and/or any other relevant information is a good practice to be in.

Yelp and Google reviews: I cannot overstress the importance of responding to online reviews, the good and the bad alike. Thanking happy clients/customers who took the time to write a positive review is just good business and responding to bad reviews is equally, if not more important. Any PR professional will tell you that you must respond to damaging allegations, accusations or public criticism, simply put, if you don’t tell your side of the story, somebody else will tell it for you. Bad reviews can hurt your bottom line, and many times they are embellished or outright fabricated so, telling your truth is crucial. If you are dealing with a reasonable person and you are willing to work through their grievance, sometimes you can get them to remove or update the review. Make time to regularly check and respond to reviews. Many businesses have unclaimed Yelp listings but taking control of your page is not difficult, you cannot respond if you don’t have administrative access to your listing.

Check Your Local Listings: If you Google your company name and location, you should see relevant results going down the first page, click on any company listing and make sure the information is correct, many times it is not. Incorrect information like hours of operation, contact info and location can cost you money. Your business is listed hundreds of places around the internet, if you don’t have the time or the desire to monitor them all, I recommend taking advantage of our Local SEO service, it’s more than affordable and incredibly valuable for any business.

If you are so busy that you cannot find the time for any of these suggested tasks, you are a perfect candidate for our services and you should give us a call @ 866-609-3483

Until next week……

 

Cheesy marketing joke of the week:

How do you get people to notice you online?

 

You have to really make an impression.

 

The Best Medicine

 

When I am asked what I do for a living, I often see people’s eyes glaze over when I answer with “digital marketing”. “Oh, you’re a computer guy”, I’ll hear right before they quickly try to change the subject but, as someone who doesn’t enjoy talking about myself, I am usually all too happy to move on to another topic.

Aside from the obvious boring aspects of our industry, the confusion, frustration, and fear exhibited by some clients (usually from generations that had little to no exposure to computers in their youth) sometimes just makes the whole experience unenjoyable, I imagine that dentists, accountants, and proctologists see similar responses to their professions.

Since this company’s inception, we have had over 16,000 clients so you can only imagine the variety of conversations our employees have had with clients and prospects alike. Here are some of our favorite funny stories(that we can share) from the past 14 years:

While cold calling years ago, I contacted a woman with a deep, raspy voice, who didn’t hear me identify the company I was calling from so she asked me again, “What’s the name of your company”? I replied, “Ideal Positions”. There was a silent pause for a few seconds to which she followed up with “Oooooooo, I’ll take TWO of those”.

The name of our company was intended to be provocative and continues to elicit a variety of responses.

Then, there’s the client who called me while sitting on the toilet and another time while he was in the shower, both times he felt the need to tell me exactly what he was doing.

Another time I called a client in Arizona to discuss her account and when I asked her how she was, she said (paraphrasing) “I’m good, just been running around my house in my underwear, high on Vicodin for the last 3 days”.

We once had the wife of client call us after seeing a $1000 charge on her husband’s credit card statement from “Ideal Positions”. Apparently, she thought we were an escort service but was relieved to learn that we are a marketing company. One gets the impression that hubby dearest may have previously been caught in a less than ideal position with a consultant that “handled” more than his marketing and a company that drove traffic to his hotel room instead of his website.

And finally, a funny internal story about our own Ian “Baby Girl” Davis:

The Ideal Positions office is lucky enough to be surrounded by fields, filled with grass, wild strawberries, and beautiful wildlife so, it’s no wonder that a lot of employees like to talk a walk outside during the day.

One day, while walking through one of the fields that surround the office, our Operations and Innovation Director Mara Grow found a small brown paper bag in the tall grass. Her curiosity piqued, she opened the bag to see what was inside, to her amazement she found a sandwich, a bottle of apple juice, a small bag of chips, and a napkin.  Obviously, someone had lost their lunch. About a block away from the office is a school bus stop, so it was safe to guess that a child had lost their lunch bag while walking to the bus stop.  Further confirming this was a handwritten note on the napkin, which read, “I love you baby girl!”

Mara returned to the office with the note, and showed it to several staff members – we all hoped that the intended recipient of the lunch was OK.  This prompted Mara to play a joke on Ian so, she left the apple juice and note on his desk.  Ian was puzzled about who had left him the note, but was (too) excited about getting the apple juice, and proceeded to drink it.  He then put the note in a prominent place on the shelves behind his desk, to remind him to find out who had left the items on his desk.

Other staff members saw the note and decided that “baby girl” would be a great nickname for him.  Ian, having the great sense of humor that he does, took the title and ran with it.  He is now affectionately known as Ian “Baby Girl” Davis around the office.

More shenanigans, tomfoolery, high jinks and monkey business to come.

 

Cheesy marketing joke of the week:

What’s the personality of a bad digital marketer?

Answer: Anti-social

Meet the Parents

 

With both Mother’s and Father’s Day generating big business and being roughly only a month apart, we thought we’d take advantage of the opportunity to run some new radio ads promoting the importance of businesses having a well-established web presence.

We had no parodies in mind for these two holidays so we set out to write some original content. The easy and safe thing to do would have been to grab a handful of low-hanging fruit and write some sappy, sentimental, Hallmark-y ads but, we went in kind of the opposite direction.

It’s Mother’s Day and you’re sitting at a nice restaurant with your mom, she is a newly minted business owner so you thought you’d get her a new website for her company. You’re a little nervous but also excited and now it’s time for the big reveal so, you present mom with your gift and await her reaction. Surprised and elated, mom raves about her beautiful new site, you feel relieved and proud, all is right in the world…….until mom realizes that the site isn’t being marketed. After looking for basic online listings and promotional ads, only to find none, mom’s attitude takes a turn for the worst and the whole tone of the conversation changes. A minute ago, you were basking in the warmth of your mother’s love and gratitude and now, your head is spinning, your stomach is turning and your dear, sweet mom is hammering with you a guilt-laden tirade consisting of disappointment, shame, and emotional manipulation. “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” “I spent 2 days in labor for this?!?!”, “I knew I should have given you up for adoption” and “I’m taking you out of my will” are some of the sweet things mom hurls back at you. Apparently, it’s true that no good deed goes unpunished.

For Father’s Day, we decided to go with a similar theme but it was the company president who came up with the idea to use the same abused, well-meaning but marketing-challenged (adult) son in that ad.

It’s early morning on Father’s Day, the sun is shining, birds are chirping and we find our subjects looking at the recently erected signage for their new construction business. Soft, sentimental piano music plays in the background as father and son admire the new sign and share their hope and enthusiasm for their budding young business…….until dad asks his boy how he spent the company marketing budget that he left him in charge of.

It’s here we learn that since the Mother’s Day gifting debacle, Junior’s mom disowned him and moved to India, as a result, he is in therapy 4 times a week and has been paying for it with the money his dad gave him to market their company.

Trying to contain his anger and disappointment, Dad launches into a passive-aggressive rebuke of his son’s misappropriation of their marketing funds and issues a veiled threat wrapped nicely inside a story about how Aztec parents punished their kids for making stupid decisions.

The saga of this incredibly unhealthy, dysfunctional family will not end there as we have plans for Junior to exact his revenge with a mic-dropping, emotional explosion at Thanksgiving dinner, later this year.

Stay tuned!

Below is a link to our radio ad gallery where you can listen to the aforementioned ads.

Radio Ads Produced by Ideal Positions

 

 

 

 

Imagine, if You Will…..

 

Imagine, if you will, Rod Serling introducing an episode of the Twilight Zone which focuses on the strange disappearances of poorly marketed websites, where do they go? The Twilight Zone? or just the back pages of Google? This is a reoccurring theme in our radio ads because it is a reoccurring theme in our industry. The voice actor we hired for the Unsolved Mysteries ad, Brad Curtis, will be voicing Serling for us and I look forward to working with him again, he is such a pro.

Now, think of Jack Bauer interrogating an unscrupulous SEO writer or a shady marketing consultant who has hijacked or poorly marketed someone’s website, and because nobody can find it, Jack is threatening the suspect with bodily harm (broken fingers, to be exact) if he doesn’t disclose it’s location. Things with this ad could get dicey for airplay given the theme of torture, not to mention Jack’s yelling and he will definitely be using his signature catchphrase(or word in this case) “Dammit”!!! I hope we can slip this one past the goalie, I don’t think it will be a problem though, given everything else we’ve managed to get away with;-)

Who can forget the lead character Bryan Mills, from the hit Liam Neeson movie, “Taken”?! Now imagine him delivering those now famous lines to a similar type of individual, bad SEO writers, slimy web developers and crooked marketers will be reoccurring villains in several of our ads, as they are in business.

Think of Captain Kirk and the crew of the U.S.S Enterprise going back in time to modern-day Earth to save small businesses from economic collapse, only to turn around go back home because they fear the primitive peoples of our planet after learning of so many businesses not even having the common sense to market their sites on Google. This will likely be an exclusive audio track for our website because there too many characters that need be included and we cannot do this iconic show justice within the 60 second time limit required for airplay, I’m guessing this will end up being 2 to 4 minutes in length. Love of this show is something our company president and I have in common so, I know it will be good…..at least to us.

Picture a mother disowning her son at Mother’s Day dinner because she learns that her boy, whom she thought she raised right, has not and doesn’t plan to market his business’s new website. This may raise some eyebrows, depending on which line we end the ad with, some of them are harsh(and funny) but, there will be elements of it that everyone with a mom can relate to and just might find funny. The 60 second time limit might make this challenging as well but, I am confident that we can do it.

Now imagine Fox Mulder and Dana Scully performing an autopsy on a dead website, trying to figure out what happened to it. Was it abducted by aliens, probed and left facedown and naked in a cornfield or was it just bad marketing? Stay tuned to find out.

As a fan of the show, I admit to sometimes binge watching Forensic Files, the narrator’s voice makes every detail sound sinister and intriguing. A parody of this show would be another great candidate for an IDP radio ad, it might have to be a website exclusive, given the time constraints, and it will be a huge challenge to do the show justice with just 60 seconds but, we’ll give it the old college try.

These are just some teasers, some free samples, if you will, of some upcoming and future radio ads we will be producing at IDP Studios. We’ll be posting the finished ads to our various social media accounts and attaching them to blogs on our website as they are completed.

Stay tuned for more debauchery…..